Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
