So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
