we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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