Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
