My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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