I wannas sexs uuuuu
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I want to make a zoo with you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
