Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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