I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
