if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
