fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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