so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
