hotel room ftw
I'm lost and stupid without you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
