i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
