i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
