White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
