i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
