Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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