He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
and you fell through a lawn chair
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
