everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
