Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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