i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
