Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
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He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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