My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
