If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize