mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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