trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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