We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
