I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
