Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So vagazzling was a success
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
