no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
