Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
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My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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