My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize