Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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