Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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