my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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