Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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