So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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