this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
