The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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