I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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