So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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