I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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