ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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