So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
