You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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