Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
