Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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