I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
