Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
His hands were made for my vagina.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
