Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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