Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
