O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
