I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
