You work out of a Hotel?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
