dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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