But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
