He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
