I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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